Drunk-driver kills 6; people mad at AAA

Yesterday, tragedy struck when a drunk-driving psychopath left 6 dead.  People are now very angry at the American Automobile Association. For some reason.

Although the unfortunate death of 6 innocent people was the result of a solitary, mentally-impaired maniac, who single-handedly made a series of horrible decisions, all by himself, people are still mad at AAA; an organization which didn’t have anything to do with the awful event.  At all.

Ignoring both AAA’s century-long advocacy of safe, responsible car-mobility for Americans and any semblance of logical thought, a local angry man said, “You can’t judge the individual who actually committed this atrocious act.  Nope, this is definitely AAA’s fault…in some way.”

“I also think I heard AAA members are terrorists.”

An upset woman stated that even though it was entirely unreasonable, she “would completely ignore the drunken, deranged man’s accountability for his own terrible actions” and indicated she’d “rather blame the Automobile Association’s millions and millions of normal, safe-driving members who didn’t have anything to do with the event.  I think those American fathers, mothers, brothers, sisters, police officers, sheriffs, U.S. military service-members, veterans, business people and clergy who weren’t actually involved in any way whatsoever are at fault.  Somehow.”

The woman continued irrationally, “I’m also pretty upset at car manufacturers.” she added, “….Oh, and cars……….…probably high-octane gasoline too.”

AAA’s many programs designed to foster safe, enjoyable car ownership and travel had no effect on people’s emotional reactions to the painful event, “I don’t care if AAA’s members are decent, law-abiding Americans who are just as horrified by these kinds of disastrous episodes. I still hold them responsible for something they had no part in.  I refuse to accept that sometimes in a free society, individuals make terrible decisions that have negative consequences for others and that complete safety and security don’t exist.”

“It’s always AAA’s fault…y’know…for some reason.”

Area residents indicated they would remain steadfast in suspending their critical-reasoning abilities and committed to blaming the non-involved AAA for as long as corporate news organizations told them to.